It's good to read me, isn't it?

Issue #41 - doing my best to embrace the Christmas spirit, reviewing "The Alchemist" book & getting into Martha Stewart 30 years too late, among other tidbits.

First things first, put this lo-fi Christmas video on for the perfect accompanying music. Also, sorry this allegedly “weekend” newsletter is being released late and not on the weekend but whatever, it's the holidays, chill out.

Not that I’ve managed to embrace it this year, but the Christmas season has lurched forward and somehow we seem to have leapt from Halloween to here in a heartbeat. I do truly love the idea of Christmas and I’ve been furiously watching Martha Stewart holiday cooking and decorating videos to try and get in the mood but hmm, the sterility of the 9-5 work week and bleak weather so far this month has done little to lift my spirits.

Seems like 5 minutes ago I was fuming about Christmas in 2023 so I fear perhaps I’m just not really one for the holidays. They are, after all, a family affair and being 32 with my parents barely makes for a celebratory affair. That all being said, I do whole-heartedly wish everyone reading this a Merry Christmas and an excellent 2025. Hopefully most of you had a great 2024 but just in case, that’s what a fresh new year is for. New starts, new opportunities, hope for the future.

No one does Christmas like Martha

Whether you love her or loathe her, Martha Stewart is an icon and no one knows better than her how to whip up a beautiful Christmas meal and decorate her home into an absolutely festive masterpiece. Having recently watched her documentary on Netflix, I have a new-found respect for the empire she made out of stereotypically feminine traits like homemaking, cooking, gardening and decorating, among many other things. She truly empowered women, and men, to do so much themselves and to really be a “do-er.” It’s very inspiring actually and I loved her motto that she shares.

“Once you’re done changing, you’re done.” - Martha Stewart

Book review: The Alchemist

I was recommended to read this book by someone who perhaps, knowingly, knew I was more than a tad adrift and could do with something inspirational to get me back on track, and what an astute book to do so. The Alchemist by Paul Coelho is a very philosophical and inspiring fiction that, despite an adventurous and inspiring plot, is less about its own story than of the messages and values you’re intended to glean from it. The New York Times described it as “more self-help than literature.” The synopsis is:

Paulo Coelho's masterpiece tells the mystical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure. His quest will lead him to riches far different-and far more satisfying-than he ever imagined. Santiago's journey teaches us about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, of recognizing opportunity and learning to read the omens strewn along life's path, and, most importantly, to follow our dreams.

I’m now kicking myself for not highlighting more quotes to easily refer to but there was so much of the book that really just reminded me of the things we all intuitively know, but perhaps don’t properly follow. For instance, the book is very insistent that we must follow our hearts and, so long as we do, we can’t possibly go wrong. One quote I did mercifully note:

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” - The Alchemist by Paul Coelho

The main character devotes a lot of his time to studying and noting omens which isn’t necessarily something I’ve thought much of. I remember as a child, as my grandfather’s funeral, as his casket was placed into the hearse a rather frenzied whirlwind suddenly whipped up and I just so instinctively and obviously knew it was my grandfather saying goodbye. I’ve throughout my life seen a whirlwind and known it was a sign of his presence. Of course they naturally happen often so not every one of them has been meaningful, especially given I live in the world’s windiest city (a fact). However there have been times when they’ve happened at certain moments that have seemed particularly meaningful and have given me pause to think about my family and those that came before me. It reminds me I’m not alone and have long connections and ancestry that came before me, and will, in some ways, come after me.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other omens I subconsciously observe but now more than ever I’ll be on the lookout. I suppose it’s also a bit of reminder not to always fight against the current, there’s a time and place but mostly life will be easier and more enjoyable if you follow your gut and do what feels right.

Rest in peace John Marsden

I just saw that the Australian author John Marsden died and wanted to very briefly pay tribute for his young-adult book series Tomorrow, When The War Began were one of the first book series I really got into as a child.

I feel like John innately understood, and never forgot, what it meant to be a young person and to be grappling with the avalanche of feelings and emotions that consume you at the time. Despite the extreme circumstances the group of teenagers go through in the book, in which they live in small-town Australia and national invasion by an unnamed foreign Asian power begins, it remains a relatable and thoughtful examination of what it means to be a young person.

The Guardian’s Alice Pung wrote a thoughtful obituary:

As a teenager at school, my mates and I passed around his bestselling Tomorrow, When The War Began series, even though some teachers were trying their best to get them banned. For us the war wasn’t in a fictional tomorrow, it was in our immediate pasts. Our parents survived Cambodia, Bosnia, Vietnam. Some of our friends were unaccompanied minors who’d survived rickety fishing vessels and pirate attacks. We understood how the line between childhood innocence and adulthood responsibility was often determined by luck and privilege, and so did John.

In many ways, John Marsden was my introduction and from there I got into other books like Mitch Albom’s and of course the Harry Potter series. It was magical to discover the joy of literature, good writing, and of feeling seen and connected thanks to a powerful author.

Do you lavish attention on others but rarely receive it? It’s time to get in touch with your own needs

I’m shamelessly stealing this entire headline from, once again The Guardian, because the article practically lunged out of my screen to place its foot upon my neck.

This dynamic that shapes many of my relationships – of seeking to be the one who offers care and never the one receiving it – is so hard to lay to rest because it protects me from awareness of my own vulnerabilities. It is far more comfortable than actually being in touch with my own needs – but it comes at a cost. Because the part of me that does need attending to, that yearns for care and attention, goes neglected.

This isn’t a way of framing this particular dynamic that I’ve ever thought but it does make so much sense. For many (and let’s be honest I’m talking about myself) I’ve forever been hopeless at articulating my own needs and desires. It’s always felt indulgent, selfish, petty, weak, unimportant to think of myself as someone who “needs” certain things that I can’t necessarily get myself. Maybe it’s the stereotypical masculine male archetype, particularly in NZ, you must be self-sufficient, stoic. Of course, we all need the help of others.

For the first time this year I enlisted the help of a counsellor and it was certainly illuminating and helpful in many ways, but particularly in terms of challenging the beliefs I have about myself. It was like I’d encased myself in a cocoon to shield myself from disappointment and pain, but of course said “cocoon” was also limiting my capacity for joy, new experiences and to behave in different, healthier ways.

The Guardian journalist, Moya Sarner, explains that the ability to uncover these types of things about yourself is actually thanks to none other than oft-criticised, yet eternally influential, Sigmund Freud. He discovered how there are certain things you can only learn and unpick about yourself in the therapist-patient relationship, or something like that.

My own (limited) festive spirit

I can't say I've really gotten into the spirit this year but at the very least I did whip up some gingerbread men which are quite frankly going to be the only gifts I give this year.

The decorations do leave something to be desired but my white icing consistency was gloopy and a little more, well, baby batter looking than the glossy white sheen I was going for, so I had to make more use of some edible writing pens. (Which have a horrific list of ultraprocessed ingredients tbh - eek!)

Enjoy this new Christmas EP of bops

Merry Christmas to you all! Thanks for reading as always.